Jimbo's Jots

In our final installment of this series based on Tim Elmore’s article, we look at the third mistake parents make with their children.

We praise too early to save their self worth.

Before you start jumping me on this, I am a firm believer in helping children (and adults) have a healthy feeling of self worth. I also believe that much of that affirmation comes from people important to us.

What Elmore proposes says is we have lost the need to challenge our children in favor of “everyone’s a winner” mentality. He continues to say is while we have had good intentions, we are facing consequences. Consequences like: immediate reward vs. long-term rewarding, our children questioning our judgement and thereby stop responding to us, or giving up whenever praise or reward isn’t present.

Think about when Saul was called by Jesus to carry out the mission to the Gentiles. Actually in talking to Ananias, Jesus says, ““Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” (Acts 9:15-16, ESV)

Jesus, in calling Saul to a new life of serving Him, never promised a life of praise and affirmation. He tells Ananias that Paul was going to suffer. And we see evidence of this in Saul (Paul’s) own words in 2 Corinthians 11:16-33. Through his suffering, Paul learned of the greater promised reward (see 2 Timothy 4:7-8).

In doing this, we stop preparing the path for the child and start preparing the child for the path. The reward is children who learn to trust you and trust in self even through the mistakes. The growth will be evident is faith filled children.

Be blessed and be a blessing.