Jimbo's Jots

It’s Easter or Holy Week! Christians across the world are remembering the Christ who died and was resurrected! It is through His death and resurrection we have been given life. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15, if it weren’t for the resurrection of Christ, even our faith is futile.

As I work with couples in pre-marital or marriage counseling, I have long said and believed that marriage is one of two relationships (parenting the other) we have here on earth that is a true representation of the Christ story.

Which leads me to what marriage according to God’s plan for marriage is all about. For far to long, we, as a nation and society, have had this mantra of “Do what is best for you”. Even in the quest to search for our marriage partner, we look for the person that is going to make us happy. Then, sometimes, just as easily break the marriage covenant because “we are no longer happy”.

Here are couple of thoughts about this:

1. Marriage is designed to help us understand the sacrifice that is made in the relationship. Tim and Kathy Kellar’s book, The Meaning of Marriage, expounds on the call of husbands and wives to emulate the sacrifice of the Christ in the marriage relationship. Husbands sacrifice as Christ did for the church. Wives are called to serve as the church is to Christ.
2. Marriage is designed to help us grow in relationship with God. In other words, it’s not about me, my happiness or even my spouse’s happiness. Gary Thomas in his book, Sacred Marriage, challenges couples to discover the characteristics of Christ and see the potential your relationship can have.
3. Marriage is not about us anyway. In our recent marriage weekend, we viewed Dr. Paul Tripp’s What Did you Expect?. In short, Dr. Tripp says that if we are focusing on expecting perfection in our marriage, we have missed the mark because we are imperfect. What our goal is to help our spouse grow closer in their relationship with God by trying to be a person of God to them.

I have worked with couples who have felt there was no hope in their relationship. It’s sad. To be in a relationship where one or both partners view this relationship as dead. Much like Jesus’ followers that Passover weekend over 2000 years ago assumed their teacher to be dead, these couples mourn the “death” of the relationship.

As we know, there is the resurrection of the Christ! By God’s power and fulfilling a promise (covenant), Jesus the Christ once again walked this earth. This is the promise offered in marriage. When we feel all is lost and hopeless, there can be new life given when we focus on serving God in this relationship and honoring our covenant in Christ to give of ourself to our spouse. So every day, our marriage can be a retelling of the Easter story as our relationships are given new life!!

Be blessed and be a blessing!