Jimbo's Jots

Unlike Emperor Kuzko of Disney’s Emperor’s New Groove, we like to be touched. It’s the fifth desire Mark & Debbie Laaser talk about in their book, Seven Desires. It’s also listed in Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages.

Being touched is the physical response to an emotional connection to a person. On a very basic level, it is a way to link the relationship. Think about it . . . when you meet someone for the first time, in most cases, you reach out a hand to greet them. As the relationship grows, the physical contact becomes more intimate. You hold onto the hand shake a little longer. You may grab the hand and pull that person closer for a hug.

You realize that the physical touch is based on your emotional kinship with that person. That emotional link is the skin to skin contact. Now, that relationship invites essentially two levels of physical touch – non-sexual and sexual.

The desire for sexual touch is the life force inside us to want to be “productive, passionate and creative.” (Laaser, p. 33) It is that emotional connection to one person that comes when we make a commitment in marriage to one person.

However, many struggle with having this sexual desire met. On the one hand, many look for that “connection” to another person through pornography – some leading to an addictive lifestyle. On another level, some struggle with the sexual desire when they are not able to have children on their own.

In both cases, one partner may pull away, even sexually, from the other. Thereby depriving their partner of the touch they desire. It’s at this point in the relationship, the emotional connection becomes strained.

Non-sexual touch is the pat on the back for someone who’s having a bad day at work. It’s the hug to the family that is grieving. Physically, what happens in those moments is your brain begins to release chemicals like oxytocin which give us feelings of our own well-being which in turn help us grow. So physical contact produces a positive energy response emotionally. It also meets on a level of social acceptance as it connects to other people.

In previous weeks, we have talked about how you can connect to others emotionally. This week, the connection goes deeper. In order for others to be heard and understood, blessed, safe, physical touch gives us an outlet to demonstrate these foundational desires. In Matthew 8, Matthew tells the story about Jesus touching the leper. Lepers were not to be touched because of their disease. This led to lepers feeling unheard and broken. By touching the leper, Jesus said you are safe, blessed, heard and loved.

How can we show support to someone who doesn’t just need a cheerleader but someone who can feel the arm on the shoulder, the pat on the back, the hug around the neck? How can we reach out to the outcast and broken? Maybe it begins with touching the lepers!

Be blessed and be a blessing!