Jimbo's Jots

We’re continuing our look through the book The Good News about Marriage: Debunking discouraging myths about marriage and divorce by Shauti Feldhahn. In the book, she looks at statistical research being done based on how high the purported divorce rate is.

It kind of makes me think of the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus would start a quote by saying, “You have heard it said . . . ” I feel like this is the approach Feldhahn has taken in this little book. So we look at the third myth she tackles, faith and divorce.

You have heard it said and believed that the divorce rate among the Christian community is the same as the divorce rate for the general population. Again, the general belief is that the divorce rate is around 50 percent. So as you look around the church building, as she asserts, it’s a bit discouraging to everyone and especially to church leaders to say half of these couples will end in divorce.

What Feldhahn has seen in her research is actually not true for the divorce rate for the general population as we have looked at previously. She adds that the rate is even lower in church settings. She continues by saying God Matters when it comes to couples in our churches having successful marriages.

Two factors contribute to this:

• Church attendance – what Feldhahn has seen is couples who regularly are active in church attendance and church functions are more likely to stay in the marriage relationship. What she found was a 10 percent differential rate comparing church attenders, especially when they attend weekly, to those who do not attend any church.
• Praying together – we have heard the phrase, “The family that prays together, stays together.” Research has proven this to be true. One study she looked at was by Prepare/Enrich. The statement is “My partner and I pray on a regular basis.” There is a higher couple connectedness the more the couple prays together. Conversely, there is a high level of disconnect in couples when they don’t pray together.

What does all of this mean, you may be asking? God Matters! He matters in your personal life. And He matters in your relational life, especially spousal. Think about this . . . what if you prayed for or with your spouse instead of telling them what they didn’t get done that day? What if, in the middle of conflict, you prayed with your spouse? What if you prayed for a better heart as you look at your spouse? What if your spouse KNEW you were praying for them on a daily basis? Would there even be any doubt in their mind about the relationship?

May God be blessed in our marriages and may our marriage be a blessing to others!