Jimbo's Jots

It’s been almost 24 hours since word broke yesterday about the shooting at Oxford (MI) High School. All told almost a dozen victims were shot at and three have been confirmed dead. I’ve been processing everything – watching the news updates, checking social media and my own personal thoughts. I live in a house with a teacher who struggles with her own thoughts and feelings about this.

Not living in the Oxford community, I am writing this from an outsider’s perspective. I only know the names of the victims because of the news and social media. So if you will give me a moment to share some thoughts, I hope it will help you as you process your thoughts as well

• We all need community! We all want and need to feel that we belong! We desire connection. We crave attention from others. We thirst for the pat on the back, the “atta boy/girl”, or the verification that we’re important to the group. In light of yesterday’s tragedy, Oakland County Executive, David Coulter, stated, “We are all wounded by this!” When we live in the sense of community, we all feel it. Like Apostle Paul said, “We weep with those who are weeping” because we are in community.
• Having said that, there is a force that works to destroy that sense of community. It masks itself in feelings and emotions like fear, hatred, disconnect, abandonment, alone. That force is very powerful in some more than others. As that force strengthens, it dismantles any thought of connectivity that we may have with others.
• In community, there are those who are heroes. Mr. Fred Rogers said it best, ““When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” Yesterday, we saw helpers! The officers responded quickly to the 911 calls. There are the teachers who practiced what they had learned in training and protected students. There were students who took on leadership roles to help lead fellow students to safety.
• There are always questions! We search for answers. Sometimes the answers will come. Sometimes the answers will not come. How we manage our anxiety through this is if we’re okay with not having all of the answers to our questions.
• We all are grieving! This hurts! It hurts badly! So, we talk about the hurt and the pain! We want to connect in community and share in the pain. One other thing about grief – we’re in a moment that we expected (after all, we all know that we die), JUST NOT RIGHT NOW! Why now? Why when these kids are so young?
• This is going to take some time! Experts have said you need to talk through this. Some are open to this. Others need space and time. I encourage you to be sensitive to where people are. Parents and those in a position of care, don’t force your kids to talk right away. They’re trying to figure out their process of thought. Allow time to do that.
• Finally . . . presence over words. Sometimes, we just don’t know what to say. So we say the first thing that comes into our head. Giving a hug, an arm over the shoulder, or sitting with someone grieving, I have found, are far more powerful than anything we can ever say.

To the city, school, students, teachers, administration of Oxford, Michigan . . . know that we all are praying for you. Your hurt is our hurt. Your tears are our tears. And we feel it because we live in community! Let’s be praying for our community!