Jimbo's Jots

We are taught early in life, like kindergarten early, to follow a pattern. Obviously, behaviorally, we learn there were certain guidelines that were expected to be followed. Otherwise the parents are called and you could have a visit with the principal. No . . . I’m talking about the following the patterns – coloring inside the lines, cutting around the lines – those patterns.

In most circumstances, following a pattern is good. Patterns help understand the boundaries. Patterns help define expectations. For some of my friends who may have obsessive-compulsive traits, patterns are a strong urge to help manage the anxiety they feel when something is out of place.

Yes, patterns are beneficial to everyday life. They help in school or the workplace. They help in driving but guiding drivers when they can and should not go, how fast or slow.

Sometimes, though, having set “patterns” relationally can create barriers. In the book, Rewriting Love Stories, the husband and wife authors, Patricia O’Hanlon Hudson and William Hudson O’Hanlon, talk about bad relational issues that couples have adopted. In one particular section, they talk about changing the patterns. One example they gave was a wife and mother, because of some medical issues, would get angry and aggressive at her husband and children. The husband would protect the children and become the barrier and protector. As they talked with the husband, they asked him if there was an outfit that she would never wear – she was quite stylish. He mentioned a bunny pajama set that he got her as a gag gift. In short, when she would come home and feel she was in that mood, she would have to put on the pajama set. It gave the family a chance to prepare. What they found was that when she put the pajamas on, she didn’t get angry as often because she felt so silly. It became a humorous change.

Reminds me of Paul’s urging his readers in Rome:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2, NIV)

The world tries to tell us to follow the pattern. Be like everyone else. Paul says, change the pattern by changing your mind.

One other suggestion to changing the pattern Hudson and O’Hanlon say is to change the location. They continue by saying if arguments happen in one room of the house, change the location.

Another way of saying all of this is break the mold. You don’t have to follow your old pattern of behaviors. Paul says change the focus of your mind and heart. Changes in your heart changes how you feel about yourself! Changes in how you view yourself creates change in your actions! You may find yourself coloring outside of your defined lines and like it!! Others may as well!

Be blessed!! Be a blessing to others along the way!!