Jimbo's Jots

When I was in grad school for my counseling degree, I was in a cohort of 9 students. Three of us were males and in our 30s. I was the oldest student. The female students were all in the mid-to-late 20s. In the very first class, we went around the room and introduced ourselves. When it came around to me, I shared that I was a youth pastor and got to minister to teens and their families. Little did I know that introduction would create conversations with others about faith and counseling.

Now, I have talked about communication in the past. Especially in family settings, communication is the foundation of any relationship. If communication is poor, then the relationship suffers. If communication thrives, the relationship thrives. And as I have shared, it’s one person feeling they are able to share thoughts and desires without judgement. Which also means, the listener is listening without judgement or trying to respond, but to just listen to make sure they are hearing what is being told to them correctly. Keep that in mind as I continue with my story.

When I started classes, I was taking two classes per semester and usually, they met on the same day. In between classes one particular day, one of the female students asked if she could talk to me after the second class session. So after class, she waited for me. As we both walked to our cars, here was our conversation.

She: “I wanted to talk to you about prayer.”

Me: “Oh! Well, what do you want to talk about?”

She: “My boyfriend and I attend this church. We love it there and feel very connected to each other as our faith continues to grow. We often pray when we’re together. We feel prayer is an important way to connect to God. Yet, my boyfriend also wants me to pray in front of him. I find it difficult to do that. And because of that, I feel I am not as close to God or him when we pray.”

After listening to her, I responded with this: “I’m assuming you’re able to talk to your boyfriend about things. You talk about food, work, your next date. I’m also going to assume you pray to God. You tell him about what you’re feeling, express your praise, pray for others, including your boyfriend.”

She: “Yes, I do talk with my boyfriend. Yes, I am able to pray and talk with God when he is not around.”

Me: “Let’s make one more final assumption – can we agree that prayer is a conversation with God. You talk to Him about life and you also listen to God either through reading the Bible or seeing God at work in your life. So, if you think about prayer being a conversation with you and God, with your boyfriend there, you are inviting him into the conversation you are having with God. It’s simply talking with God while he is around.”

She: “That’s a good point! I’ve never thought of it that way before.”

And she got in her car and left. I got in my car and left . . . until we saw each other the next week. To which she reported that she and the boyfriend were able to talk about having a deeper prayer life. She said, “I’m working on it, not quite there yet, but am more open to praying with him.”

Good communication starts when we are willing to be open with each other – even when we talk to God.

Be blessings in your praying! Be a blessing to others by praying for them!