Jimbo's Jots

This is the first of a 4 part series called Learning to Love Well! The series will offer a pastoral and therapeutic perspective of 1 Corinthians 13. This first post is called Love = Way of Being. I pray you enjoy.

Valentine’s Day tends to spotlight emotion — attraction, chemistry, romance, intensity. But when Paul writes about love in 1 Corinthians 13, he barely mentions feelings at all. Instead, he describes love as a way of being.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong… If I have prophetic powers… but have not love, I am nothing.” (1 Cor. 13:1–2)

Paul is talking to spiritually gifted people. They were impressive. Skilled. Passionate. Publicly visible. But he tells them something unsettling: it’s possible to do all the right things and still miss the heart of love.

From a pastoral perspective, this is a warning about spiritual performance. From a therapeutic perspective, it’s a warning about relational performance.

We can learn communication skills, memorize apology scripts, read relationship books, and still fail to actually connect. We can act loving without being emotionally present. We can give gifts without giving attention. We can sacrifice externally while remaining guarded internally. Real love is not measured by volume or visibility. It’s measured by presence.

In counseling language, love requires attunement — the ability to notice, feel, and respond to another person’s emotional world. Relationships don’t thrive on grand gestures as much as they thrive on small, consistent moments of safety:

• being listened to without interruption
• being known without being judged
• being honest without fear of rejection

Paul’s phrase “I gain nothing” is not a threat; it’s a diagnosis. When love is missing, even impressive effort feels hollow. We see this in marriages that look stable but feel lonely, friendships that are busy but shallow, churches that are active but disconnected.

Love is not primarily something we do.
Love is someone we become.

And that shift changes everything. Instead of asking: “Am I doing enough?” Love asks: “Am I present enough to be known and to know?”

That is where transformation begins — spiritually and emotionally. Christian love is not sentimental. It is incarnational. It shows up. It moves toward. It stays engaged.

In February we celebrate romance, but Scripture invites us into something deeper: a lifelong apprenticeship in learning how to love well. And that work begins not with grand gestures, but with the quiet courage to be present.

Be blessed! Be a present blessing!